STANDARDIZED TEST ANALOGY

BURRITOS ARE TO NYC AS:

1) Communism is to Russia

2) Ron Paul is to Texas

3) Capitalist Democracy is to Africa

4)  Disney World is to Orlando

HOW TO ORDER WHOLE PINTO BEANS IN SPANISH

I’ve encountered a few places that offer refried beans, but also have whole pinto beans. If no one speaks English, you can order them in Spanish: “frijoles de la olla” literally meaning beans of the pot.

WIZARD SWEARS OFF REFRIED BEANS

After over a month of eating a burrito everyday I quickly learned the toll that refried beans take on your body. Not to mention the fact that they don’t have the ideal texture or flavor to compliment the perfect burrito. Almost all refried beans are made with lard and are rarely the healthiest option. Refried beans are responsible for more than 50% of burrito rape (see post in ETHOS).

Tip: next time you order a burrito see if there is an alternative to refried beans.

BLACK BEANS VS. PINTO BEANS

Most people agree that black beans taste better, i.e. unseasoned most would choose black beans.  In burritos: if it’s a 7.5 and below black beans are better, if it’s greater than 7.5, then pinto beans.  The milder tasting pinto acts as a better compliment to the ingredients.  Particularly with complicated salsas black beans muddy the flavors and make it difficult to fully appreciate.

ASK FOR FOIL WRAP

Most vegetarian burritophiles prefer their burrito double wrapped in foil to eat it hand held style.  Some restaurants offer this, some don’t, but all restaurants have foil in the kitchen, so just ask to have the burrito double wrapped in foil.

SYMPTOMS OF GRINGO

1) “A” food safety rating

2) un-spicy food and salsa

3) newly remodeled

4) presence of tofu

5) lack of Spanish speaking

6) has a website

BURRITO RAPE

Harsh term, I know.  It’s when you eat a burrito that makes you totally ill.  As a result you are unable to enjoy a burrito for a couple of days.  You become extra cautious of unfamiliar burritos and tend to gravitate towards gringo and chain joints for a little while.  When it happens to you, you’ll know it.

I AM NOT A VEGETARIAN

But I don’t favor meat in Mexican style food.  Also, I want to focus on a specific type of burrito for discussion and reviews: the basic vegetarian ingredients..  I’m not against reviewing a burrito with lard in the beans or chicken stock in the rice, but I will point out whether I know or suspect that a burrito is NOT 100% vegetarian.